Somewhere you’d like to visit/move to.
I’ve always wanted to live in Paris for at least a year. You know, have an open plan apartment, play records all day, recite poetry, type things on a type writer. Be with someone really special.
But now… I feel like Amsterdam is the place for me. I’ve never visited the city, but it is a place in which I can envision myself, maybe doing a masters degree in screenwriting.
The world is my oyster after all.
So I did something absolutely terrifying.
On Saturday the 20th August, I went bouldering. There was blood, there was sweat and there were (nearly) tears. All mine.
If there is one thing you need to know about me it is that I am absolutely terrified of heights.
Rollercoasters? Easy. Standing on rooftops? Piece of cake. I can even abseil. I can be very adventurous. But sometimes my fear of heights holds me back.
So yeah. Eliot’s birthday, bouldering. Which is basically a climbing wall but with no ropes or harness. I didn’t know this, and it freaked me out and so, to begin with, I was shaking so much I thought I would turn into a puddle of jelly.
I struggled. For the first fifteen minutes anyway. It doesn’t help that my upper body strength isn’t that great, I’m quite out of shape where I don’t have my gym membership anymore. But then I became more comfortable. I even exclaimed that ‘this climbing wall is my bitch!’ roughly 30 times. I didn’t move up a section though, I wasn’t ready for that.
I am a very determined person, and I knew that if I didn’t at least try every single wall, I would kick myself. So I did. I tried every single climbing wall. And I aced almost every single one. I decided to repeat the ones I could already do, to boost my confidence if there was one that I couldn’t do. Alec supported that, and said he was proud.
This was such a great achievement for me. I destroyed my comfort zone. It is gone, I need to expand it evidently.
I think the thing that helped me through it was the great support I had from my friends, they guided me through it all to begin with, and then set me free to face it on my own. It’s a great learning technique. I applaud them for being so careful with me, although I’m not as fragile as people think. I proved that on this day, because I conquered my fear (sort of).
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always be nervous about heights. But this, this helped me. I am stronger and I am better because of it.
What a brilliant way to spend two hours.