Inactive!!

Guys I’m so sorry I haven’t posted much recently! Or promoted myself much, but I got an internship! 

I’m working with the events team for Parkinson’s UK and it’s quite full on, I’m loving every minute of it but I’m just getting really tired because of having to babysit most days to earn some money!

Anyway, I’m so sorry I’ve been so inactive- I’m going to do better, scouts honour! 

Morale Boosters

Things I do when I’m feeling sad:

  • Create new food recipes in my head, to save for a later date.
  • Bake peanut butter cookies.
  • Phone one of my best friends, they always say the right things to cheer me up.
  • Watch one of the early Harry Potter films.
  • Read a new book.
  • Get off the Internet for a while.
  • Channel my emotions into words and create something brilliant.
  • Tidy/rearrange/redecorate my bedroom.
  • Have a nap.
  • Make a list.
  • Watch a sit-com.
  • Have a bubble bath, paint my nails, have a pampering session.
  • Look up cheap flights to random places.
  • Go through my baby photos/videos.
  • Talk to my mum.
  • Try on my clothes.
  • Go for a long walk.
  • Listen to some soft pop music, such as Vance Joy and Jack Johnson.
  • Drink a can of Dr Pepper.
  • Put on fluffy socks.
  • Make plans for themed parties.
  • Plan my future wedding.
  • Go to the cinema, with someone, alone, it doesn’t matter.
  • Eat jaffa cakes.
  • Drink some herbal tea.

Lone Wolf: a review

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                  Lone Wolf is an emotional novel with the themes of family, trust and independency running strongly throughout; the audience is forced to take sides between a family feud. Each sibling wants their father’s condition to be dealt with in different ways. Cara, the youngest of the two, wants to care for her father after his car accident, yet her elder brother Edward thinks it is more ethical to switch off the life support and leave him to his peace.

                   The problem is then taken to a court case, and the audience sympathises with both of the siblings. Cara is a minor, and this is why her pleas were not accounted for, whereas Edward is old enough to make his own decisions, and after having been given permission to say ‘he wants to die’ a few years previously, the courts granted him the decision to terminate Luke Warren’s life support.

                   This novel entails both sides of the story, giving the audience a huge tug at their heart strings as they understand Cara’s reasoning for wanting to keep Luke alive; he was the only family she had left, and she felt like a stranger in her mother’s new life with her new family. Cara’s argument against her brother making the decision was that he hadn’t lived with them for 6 years, so therefore Edward cannot be allowed to hold the responsibility of his father’s life, according to Cara.

                   While reading Lone Wolf, I found that I was captivated by the story line and Cara’s connection to her father moved me, while I discovered the secrets hidden within their family which had caused Edward to leave all those years ago. The deception between the family is revealed to the readers and we are hit with the shock factor of the pain in which this family has endured. Luke Warren’s obsession with his wolves placed a massive strain on his first family, and Edward soon discovered that he was having meaningless affairs. The night Edward left, was the night he discovered Luke’s antics, having gone to find his dad to tell him he is gay. Once he returned home, his mother just assume that it hadn’t gone well, and Edward left home, only to return 6 years later for his father’s accident.

                   The emotional elements in this novel are clearly displayed throughout each paragraph; each line of text is swimming with heart and emotion. Jodi Picoult has put her entire being into this book, just as she does with every other novel she has written. Jodi has a specific writing technique, that makes her novels unique and with a huge depth of emotion. The lingering cliff hangers she leaves at the end of chapters and sections in the novel give the audience the shock factor that her books so greatly deserve.

                   Overall, Lone Wolf is one of my favourite Jodi Picoult reads yet, and I would give it a total of 5 out of 5 stars. The emotional levels in the novel just overwhelmed me and I felt completely connected to each and every character, the power of her words are inspirational and deeply moving.

                   

Original Poem: UNREQUITED

UNREQUITED

In this fictional world she lived in, I was
a lonely ice cube in her Long Island ice tea.

She was a passing snowstorm
and I a simple snowflake.

She was a hurricane
and I a gentle gust of wind.

She would shout and I would whisper.
She would bawl and I would shed
maybe one tear, one tear too many
and she could talk a mile a minute
and I could sometimes
speak no words at all.

She was the Blair to my Serena,
the Thelma to my Louise,
the Monica to my Rachel.

Except I loved her with everything,
everything I ever had. But all I ever was
was a twinkling star in her entire galaxy.
Just a little crater on her
luminous moon.

Bye Bye Self-Hatred

I was thirteen when the self-loathing started. Surrounded by a sea of pre-pubescent bodies, some of the girls at my school had already started to get womanly curves and managed to lose all their puppy fat, whilst I hid myself in baggy jumpers to hide the rolls on my stomach.

Who taught me to hate the way I look? As a thirteen year old, I could fake my way through everything. I could binge eat with my friends and then stick two fingers down my throat later to rid myself of the toxins. But you see, I hated exercise, and I loved to eat. So that seemed to be the only solution for me.

Wearing glasses already made me stand out anyway, and then I started to self-harm, which made me an even bigger freak than usual. I fell out with my friends a lot for being different, and so I would find myself constantly trying out new ways to fit in. I had (and still have) stretch marks on my thighs and stomach, and finally, at aged 22, I am saying No More Hate.

I can’t look at myself in disgust anymore. Sure I’m not a size 8, sure I’m not toned to perfection. My body is covered in scars and tattoos and marks but my body tells a story. It’s so hard to look at yourself in the mirror and want to cry everyday, so change your opinion. Change your thought process. Change your ideals. You are a piece of art and goddamn it, you deserve to be admired.

I decided to stop reading those trashy magazines that tell you what size you should be and what pretty is. I decide to not care that my breasts resemble that of a small child’s. I am ignoring all my self-harms scars. In fact, I think it is time that I embrace them. I was sad for the longest time, but I don’t want to be sad anymore. I don’t want to hate myself anymore. Hating myself was tiring, and I deserve some rest.

I’m aware that I’m not perfect. I’m aware that my stomach sometimes hangs over the waistband of my underwear. I’m aware that I don’t have a thigh gap. I’m aware that I have scars all over my legs and that I bruise like a peach. Most of the time my make up ends up smudged down my face. AND THAT’S OKAY.

I look at my best friend’s. All our faces, bodies, personalities and hearts are so different that it is impossible to compare myself to them. Each one of my best friends is beautiful in their own fantastic way. And so am I. It is okay to love yourself, because how the hell is someone else supposed to love you if you don’t love yourself first?

It isn’t an overnight change. Sometimes it could take weeks, months, years. But this journey is yours and no one can take that away from you.

And of course, you’re still going to feel insecure from time to time, that’s a given, but as soon as you change your perception of what beauty is, and start putting yourself first, the less frequent those low days will become.

So throw away those trashy magazines that tell you that you aren’t pretty, thin, happy enough. FUCK THEM.

Change your role models too, anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself is not someone you should look up to.

Exit that toxic relationship that makes you question your self worth.

Forgive your 13 year old self for her self-hatred.

Say goodbye to your self hatred.

The only opinion that’s important is yours, and the more positive it is, the better your life will look from both inside and out.

You are beautiful. You are strong. You are important.

It has taken me 22 years to get this far, so I know you can do this.

La La Land: a review

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Have you ever seen a film or read a book or heard a song that COMPLETELY CHANGED YOUR LIFE? BECAUSE LA LA LAND IS THAT FILM FOR ME.

Sorry, I’m getting excited. I just loved this movie so much. The narrative follows Mia (Emma Stone) and Seb (Ryan Gosling) throughout the seasons (Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall) and their chance encounters until finally they become the WORLD’S MOST AWESOME POWER COUPLE OF ALL TIME!

I don’t want to give away too much, because it’s still a relatively new movie, but everything about this film is amazing. The ending!!! Just, the ending!!!!

I mean, even the frickin’ movie poster is incredible.

It’s set in what is made to look like late 1920’s Hollywood, with the addition of iPhones, so still not too sure what year the film is set in. but the era of Jazz is dying out! And Seb wants to save it! But Keith (John Legend) wants to change the jazz sound! It’s all very exciting and I can’t form constructive sentences because all I can think of is Jazz music and tap dancing and all the beautiful clothes the cast were wearing.

If you like bold colours, beautiful music and flawlessly acting- watch this film.

I’ve always said that Jazz music is an underrated art so with any luck this film will shed some light on it and make it popular again.

I left the cinema in a daze, because my head was in the clouds and I was singing the songs from the film.

Even though the story didn’t end the way I wanted it to, I can understand why it had to end the way that it did. Nothing about this musical screams cheesy, so the ending needed to reflect that, and not be predictable.

But thank you, thank you for this film. You deserve all the Oscar’s.