Tinder, glorious Tinder

Tinder is a very toxic way to find love. It isn’t a dating app, it’s a hooking up app, and the sooner you, or anyone, can decipher between the two, the narrower your search is going to be when it comes to love. 

If you aren’t looking for love, and a casual hook up is all you want, good for you. Just make sure you are both using the right forms of contraception to avoid unwanted pregnancies and the spreading of STI’s. 

I am conducting a social experiment on my tinder profile, where I DON’T talk to my potential matches about sex. Instead, I am going to talk to them about dating, and see who runs away.
Tinder is also a very harsh app. You are basing decisions about someone on 3-5 photos on their profile. 
But that’s okay. You can’t force attraction. So here are some of the reasons that I swipe left:
1. There are other girls in your photos. This, to me, suggests that you are trying to promote yourself as being a player.

2. Your bio is weak.

3. You don’t have a beard, or the ability to grow one (evident from your pictures and your Instagram which I have stalked in order to check.)

4. You have the same name as an ex of mine, or my dad or brother. 

5. You have more than one person in your picture, so I have to click onto your profile to find one of you. It’s very inconvenient.

6. You’re under the age of 20 (it took me weeks to realise I could change my age settings). 

7. Or if you look like you could be under the age of 20.

8. Because I’m just not that attracted to you.

And these are the reasons I will swipe right:

1. If you don’t look like you take yourself too seriously.

2. If you have puppies/kitties/babies in your pictures.

3. If you have tattoos/a beard/a great smile.

4. If you have a good bio. Good constitutes funny, witty, clever.

5. If you look well traveled. 

6. If you dress well in your photos.

7. If you link you Spotify to your account, like I do, I check out your recent plays to see if we would get on musically. 

Tinder is a great way to meet new people, you just need to make sure that you meet people who are on the same page that you are. If you find someone asking for nudes, block them. Block them immediately, no one wants to be taken in by another time waster. 


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