A letter to The One That Got Away
You came into my life with a bang. I felt instantly drawn to you, because from the get go, I knew you were going to change my life. And you did. But you were always unavailable, and I wasn’t about to change that.
Until the day that you kissed me. We were drunk, but of course my head was clear. I wasn’t even sure if it had happened, and then it happened again. Our heads were pushed together, and then I just couldn’t let go.
For a few days after that, things were awkward, and I could feel you slipping through my fingers, so I tried to cling on for dear life. You let me. Then the awkwardness slipped away and we reached some kind of normality again.
I allowed myself to rekindle our friendship, and that would be all. I tried not to stay up all night thinking about you, and I actively tried my damn hardest to accept that you would never be with me.
And then one day, you COULD be with me. You were available, and so was I. There was nothing to stop us, yet something still did. We did all that we could without getting feelings involved, but unfortunately it was too late for me, and I fell in love with you.
You disappeared for a while after we spent the night together. I was devastated. Because I’d allowed myself to fall for you this time. And I was an inconsolable mess for the longest time. Had I misread your signals? Probably. Had I got in over my head? Definitely.
But mostly I just missed my friend. We were close. You listened to me, soothed my anxiety, debated with me, stopped me making a fool of myself, except when it came to you. And every time I saw you after that, I wondered if you were thinking the same things as me.
And now you’ve met someone else. Maybe I should have told you how I felt, actively put myself in the game and given myself a fair chance to win your affections. Now I’ll have to wait again.
I just don’t think that I can wait forever.