Severus Snape was not a hero and he doesn’t deserve the title of one…

Alan Rickman makes me conflicted. 

Severus Snape does not deserve your sympathy, and he certainly doesn’t deserve to be in the ‘hero’ category.

Yes, he was brave. Yes, he double crossed Voldemort by secretly being on the side of light and love. But really? Calling someone a hero because they want to bone Lily Evans? I don’t think so.

It is super creepy of Snape to still be pining after Lily. On paper it sounds sweet. ‘Awh he still carries a torch for her, his patronus is a doe awwwwh’ but no. Think about it. It’s creepy, and gross. Imagine it’s some strange guy doting on you, even after you’ve expressed no interest in him. You would be so freaked out! You wouldn’t be flattered!

And that’s another thing, Snape’s patronus being a doe? That’s so embarrassing! Lily’s patronus takes the form of a doe because of her love for James! So Snape basing his patronus on that is extra creepy and extremely pathetic. She didn’t love you bro. 

Let’s talk about the night the Potter’s died (RIP in peace, still not over it tbh). Snape appears on the scene (creepy) and not only does he STEP OVER JAMES’S DEAD BODY, but he also IGNORES A CRYING BABY and cradles Lily’s dead body to his chest. How pathetic! Harry Potter is a tiny little baby and he’s crying, and Snape comes by and just rocks Harry’s dead mother to his chest. I mean, that is just insane. I’m sorry (I’m not really sorry) but it is.

Flash forward to when Harry comes to Hogwarts. He’s a happy, smiley little first year, despite the rotten life he’s had so far. He’s taking notes in Potions class, little nerdy Harry Potter who is excited to learn, when mean and moody Professor Snape calls him out on not paying attention, and then proceeds to embarrass him in front of the entire class. Dick move Snape. You know who he is. You are aware of that fact that he wasn’t self aware. You know he’s new to this stuff and you make him feel small and vulnerable in front of the entire class, because of a personal vendetta that you had against his dad, who I might add, is dead, so get the fuck over it. 

In the prisoner of Azkaban, Professor Lupin teaches his defence against the dark arts class about boggarts. A boggart shows the wizard standing before it their biggest fear, and the young witch or wizard has to use the spell ‘Riddikulus’ to turn the fear into something comical. Great spell. Now, poor little Neville Longbottom is chosen first. No one seems to question that his biggest fear is Professor Snape? That isn’t at all puzzling to a school? That one of their students biggest fears is a teacher? No? Okay then Dumbledore, let’s not get started on YOU MISTER. 

Also in Prisoner of Azkaban, Severus Snape covers Professor Lupin’s defence against the dark arts class, as Remus is ‘sick’. Snape sets the class some reading, about werewolves. He is so pathetically jealous that Remus Lupin is the defence against the dark arts professor that he is trying to call him out on being a werewolf, by teaching the class the horrors of werewolves, rather than focusing on the positive. Remus Lupin is not violent or mean or a murderer, and it was wrong of Snape to try and perceive him to be that way. Remus Lupin was a good man, and I’ll light a candle for him every day.

Also, Professor Snape isn’t even a good teacher. He favourites the bad students, puts Slytherin first (although arguably they rarely get special attention otherwise, so I’m willing to let that one slide) and he pokes fun at other students if something goes wrong. For example, Hermione Granger is known for having quite bucked teeth, and at one point a spell backfires on her, and her teeth start to grow a comical amount. This is an embarrassing moment for her, and Hermione is quite scared that she’ll be stuck like this forever. Harry Potter says ‘please do something Sir’ and professor Snape says, I kid you not, he says ‘I don’t see a difference’. Snape is also jealous of the students who are better at spells and potions than him, so he puts them down and calls them ‘insufferable know it alls.’ 

LET’S NOT FORGET THAT SNAPE KILLED DUMBLEDORE AND TREATED HARRY LIKE SHIT FOR YEARS FOR NO REASON. 

But Alan Rickman’s portrayal of him was incredible. Alan Rickman was a terrific actor and it is a sad sad loss in the acting industry (or rather, the world) from his death. So his portrayal makes me conflicted, and I still cry every time Snape dies.

I mean I could go on forever about why Severus Snape doesn’t deserve your sympathy, and why he isn’t a hero, but I’ve taken up enough if your time. Tune in next time for something I haven’t thought of yet, PEACE!