Ocean’s Eight: a review

I saw ocean’s eight and it was okay…

I’d wanted to see it since I saw the trailer, and having spoken to many people who said ‘I haven’t heard good things about that’ but not actually having heard the bad things myself, I decided that enough was enough and I would make my own opinion of it.

It starts with a shot of Sandra Bullock’s character (Debbie) in a parole hearing, having spent 5 or so years in jail for a crime not yet revealed. She is deadpan, and reveals that if she were to be released that she would ‘only want the simple life’. This is clearly a lie, but it feels like a secret only her and the audience is a part of.

The narrative moves on her to being released, but clearly her ways haven’t changed (and thank god am I right) as she swindles her way into a posh hotel stay, and then later we see her shoplift in plain sight with some fancy make up and perfume products, on the pretence that she is returning them but hasn’t got her receipt. Pretty clever actually…

Later we meet Lou, an Australian confidante with a knack for watering down vodka. The two women are fierce and powerful, clearly partners from their old schemes. Debbie reveals her plan to Lou, who takes some convincing but does get on board eventually.

The next part of the plan is to gather 5 additional woman, a designer, a hacker, a slight of hand wizard, a truck jacker and a diamond expert. Together they will rob Daphne Kluger (Anne Hathaway) at the Met Gala, having organised the best and most impossible heist of all. Debbie chooses an all female group because ‘for once we want to go unnoticed’.

The plot thickens. Other cast members are introduced. Back stories and narratives are revealed. Claude Becker is the reason Debbie ended up in jail and he ends up being Daphne’s date for the Met Gala. The plot thickens indeed.

I lowered my expectations slightly before entering the cinema to see this film. The plot was great, the ensemble cast was brilliant, the girl power was well shown, but for some reason I just felt ‘meh’ about it. I know that ‘meh’ is not a describing word but that’s how I felt.

I would watch it again, but I’ll probably wait for it to come out on Netflix/Now TV/Amazon Video, I won’t be purchasing it.

If you’ve seen the film and want to talk about it, please let me know in the comments box below!

Until next time xoxo

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A brief update

Okay y’all you asked for it. Here’s a brief update about my dating life:

Nothing is happening and I’m bored.

I went on a date that was lovely and then was ghosted. I don’t get it.

I’ve had some issues with an ex recently which highlighted how immature and nasty he was. Thank goodness I didn’t end up moving to Brighton to be with him.

I’ve been casually flirting with a guy who works at my gym but so far that’s all been really PG.

I could potentially have a crush on someone who is not fictional, not a celebrity and not a dead fictional character or celebrity. He’s a real person. I might be excited.

I would like to find someone who’s fun and can keep me on my toes but I’m not very good at looking for them.

LIGHTING MATCHES IS HERE!!!!

Tom Grennan’s much anticipated and appreciated album is FINALLY here! I woke up, saw it had immediately been put onto my phone (preorder yo) and then I received the SIGNED vinyl to my work today. That one was an early birthday gift for Bronagh though, and I did think she was going to cry when I announced it was a present for her. I was so excited to give it to her that I didn’t even wait for her birthday!

My red, signed vinyl will be arriving at my house at some point today, and I can’t wait to put it on the turn table and lock myself in my room and feel everything I’ve ever felt.

So I press shuffle. ‘I Might’. By far my favourite from the earlier releases. I cry when I see it performed live because it is everything I ever imagined I could feel all at once.

Lucky ones. Little by little love. Secret lover. Just a few of some brand new music to my ears. MAKE EM LIKE YOU! I CAN’T EVEN BREATHE RIGHT NOW.

I’m sensing a theme with the song titles… who hurt you Tom? I’ll end them!

This album is already bringing me so much joy and pain and sorrow and love and I can hardly contain it.

Just buy this album. Do it. Love yourself. Buy it. Listen. Fall in love with something real.

Let’s talk about dating apps: the Tinder/Bumble edition

I think everyone at some point in their life has said to themselves in frustration ‘ugh when will it be my turn to find someone?!’ This thought occurred me to after the latest in the long list of break ups took place, which actually ended up being the best thing for me. I decided I’d rather be happy and alone than miserable with someone who only half loved me.

So, for the first time since November, I’m on a dating app. I chose Tinder this time, because Bumble failed so miserably when I last downloaded it. Probably because my heart wasn’t truly in it? I’m not too sure.

So I thought I would list the things that make me swipe left, and the things that make me swipe right. Here we go…

Left:

⁃ If there is another girl in your photos – sorry it just looks suspicious

⁃ If you are a ‘fun loving couple looking for a third party’

⁃ If you share a name with my brother (sorry Zac Efron, it would never work between us)

⁃ If you share a name with an ex

⁃ If your bio is basic

⁃ If I can’t tell who you are in the photo, I only wanna look at your other pics because I think you’re attractive, not because I don’t know which one you are

⁃ If you look like you are going to ruin my life/a fuckboy

⁃ If you pose with your shirt off

⁃ If you smoke/vape & photograph it

⁃ If I can’t pronounce your name

⁃ If you pose with your car

⁃ If you’re ‘self employed’

⁃ If you look younger than 22

⁃ If you look older than 30

⁃ If we don’t have any ‘music in common’

⁃ Side note: will also swipe left if you don’t include your Spotify artists

⁃ If you’re in a group of friends and I fancy your friends more

⁃ If you only have one photo

⁃ If I know you or know of you

⁃ If you look ‘out of my league’ eg an Instagram model

Right:

⁃ If there’s a cute animal in your photo

⁃ If you have a short bio

⁃ If you have a funny joke in your bio

⁃ If it looks like you use emojis (very important)

⁃ If you include a photo with your mum in your photo set

⁃ If you use scenic photography (then I know you will be able to take good photos of me)

⁃ If you show off your hobbies (but drinking doesn’t count)

Well I guess one thing is clear, this is why I’m single. I’m too fussy.

Any tips on dating in London? Or if anyone has any better dating sites that they use, please feel free to share!

I used to want to meet people organically, like a meet/cute in a bar or being set up by friends, however nothing like that seems to happen for me..

Help me, I’m totally clueless…

Anger

I was always told to never go to bed angry. I’ve realised that I’ve been angry my whole life. At you, at me, at everyone and everything.

And maybe that’s why I can’t sleep at night. Or maybe it’s the moon. Probably, she is a jealous one. I can’t remember the last time I slept. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t angry about something.

I can’t remember a time before you. Because before you I wasn’t breathing. I can’t bare to think of a time after you, the thought of not being able to breathe again fills me with so much fear that it turns into anger. It turns into dread.

And the cycle continues.

I was told to never go to bed angry, yet I’ve been angry for a lifetime. And so, I’ve always been angry when I went to bed.

Anger keeps the brain awake. It keeps her alive.

I saw Taylor Swift and it ruined my life…

I mean, seriously, that woman knows how to put on a show! She performed a 2-hour, non stop set, danced all over the stage, had fireworks, giant snakes, women of colour EVERYWHERE and event floated in a barricade of fairy lights. I am amazed. I am speechless.

And let’s talk about those support acts. Charli XCX and Camila Cabello. Two incredible, beautiful and talented women lighting up the stage with music. Charli knows how to get a crowd pumped and Camila knows how to tune in to our emotions perfectly. They were amazing, and I’m always all about the #GirlPower.

It was a strange notion, already knowing the support acts before heading to the concert, but how incredible for Charli and Camila to be invited onto the Reputation Tour, while Camila is headlining her own tour (Never Be The Same Tour) and playing at sold out festivals too. She is a martyr. She is unreal.

I saw Taylor Swift perform at the O2 during her Red Tour in 2013, and I was blown away then. Reputation was 10 times better, and this time the album took a few listens to actually sink in. It makes me mad at myself for not getting tickets to the 1989 Tour two years ago. I’m kicking myself.

The next part of my life will be the post-Taylor chapter, and I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do with myself, other than create a Spotify playlist of all the songs that were sung (I wrote them down) and then listening to that playlist over and over and over again until my ears bleed.

Many thanks for tuning in again. If you get the opportunity to see Camila Cabello, Charli XCX or Taylor Swift, I urge you to go. Seriously. Greatest day of my life.

Quick Questions: 5 years ago

What were you doing 5 years ago?

– Five years ago I was being mistreated by someone I thought I loved, while dealing with the second biggest loss of my life and completely failing my A Levels because I was in a state of overwhelming depression that nearly killed me.

What did you want to be doing?

– I wanted to be doing well in my A Levels, I wanted to be with someone who loved me and treated me the way I deserve to be treated.

What are you doing now?

– Now I have a killer job, some incredible friends, still single but enjoying it because I’ve learned that I don’t deserve to be half loved and it’s not okay to accept the love we think we deserve.

A-Z: The Best Songs Ever (By Title)

⁃ Africa – ToTo

⁃ Brother – Kodaline

⁃ Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

⁃ Die A Happy Man – Thomas Rhett

⁃ Everybody’s changing – Keane

⁃ Forever Young – Youth Group

⁃ Guilty – Paloma Faith

⁃ How To Save A Life – The Fray

⁃ I Might – Tom Grennan

⁃ Jar Of Hearts – Christina Perri

⁃ Kiss – Prince

⁃ Lost On You – Lewis Capaldi

⁃ Maybe Tomorrow – Stereophonics

⁃ The Night We Met – Lord Huron

⁃ Only Love – Ben Howard

⁃ Praying – Kesha

⁃ Queue Jumping – Plan B

⁃ Run – Snow Patrol

⁃ She Will Be Loved – Maroon 5

⁃ Too Good At Goodbyes – Sam Smith

⁃ Unsteady – X Ambassadors

⁃ Valerie – Amy Winehouse

⁃ Wild – Catherine McGrath

⁃ XO – John Mayer

⁃ Yellow – Coldplay

⁃ Zombie – The Cranberries

Can we all just admit that Jackie Burkhart ended up with the wrong person on That 70’s Show?

We all know she should’ve ended up with the one and only Steven Hyde. The only two people in Hyde’s life to call him Steven were Jackie and Kitty Foreman, the love of his life and the mother he deserved.

And let’s discuss how awfully Kelso treated Jackie. He cheated on her, betrayed her, acted like a child even though he was older than her, he manipulated her and made her feel insecure. Not a good staple for a relationship.

When Jackie and Hyde got together, it was like two magnets coming together after being apart for so long. Jackie and Hyde complimented each other so well, they taught each other how to be better, Jackie taught Hyde how to love.

Hyde would put his foot down when Jackie got too big for her boots, and Jackie would remind Hyde that he wasn’t trailer trash and that she loved him anyway. When Jackie’s dad went to prison, Hyde let her stay in his room at the Foreman’s house, because he didn’t want her to be alone. Jackie and Hyde have also have a sincere and caring connection, and that is how they love each other. Jackie grew up a lot when she was with Hyde, and Hyde learned what love felt like.

They are soulmates. They belonged together and the writers threw away all their chemistry and passion for what? Jackie to end up with Fez? I did not put 8 years of my life into this show for Jackie to end up with Fez.

Also, may I remind you all that Hyde took Jackie to prom when Kelso wouldn’t? Hyde thought that prom was the most soul destroying event on earth and he STILL took Jackie because it was important to her.

Jackie brought out the fun and playful side of Hyde. They danced together many times in that iconic basement. She brought out the romantic side to him and he protected her with all he had. If this post doesn’t convince you that Jackie and Hyde should’ve been end game, then I beg you to rewatch the show and learn something about real chemistry.

Thanks for tuning in again!

Lots of love, Josie xox

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